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my days now…well..would i say that i’m unfortunate or lucky?
basketball…being hit by ball on my face…
things around me broke….and i have paid almost an amount of one thousand to fix those things….and still they didn’t get better after fix…
my love life…well..it’s a mess….i don’t know what to do anymore…there are problems keep popping out and there’s no solution to solve them simply because everyone that involved will get hurt…and i don’t want to see that to happen…maybe…it’s time for me to quit and become a lesbian..haha…it’s not a bad idea after all…^^
this tuesday…it was a very exciting day for me because me and my schoolmates finally decided to go ice skating in sunway pyramid!~ I was so happy and couldn’t wait for that moment to come…yet…when i started to balance myself on the ice rink…someone from behind…"BANG!" then i found myself lying with my face facing down on the damn hard floor…at that moment…i could only see white things and my brain was blank…tears dripped down automatically…i think the pain was too great…haha…may i sing "I FEEL GOOD~~" …haha…^^"
my face "earned" a enormous bruise…i think it has too fun on my face and became bigger and bigger and swollen…my teeth…they crooked and become even more untidy…
Yet…i assumed that i was luckily at that time….the guy who dashed against me, his shoe never go onto my face…i guess…after all the bad luck i had…i think i’m kinda luckily because the accident doesn’t get worse than that…
When the accident happened..i was holding my friend’s hand…according to her, i pulled her and she fell onto me…eventually i thought the guy striked her too…so,i’d like to apologize to herr…luckily she didn’t get any injury…if not i’ll be very guilty…
well…maybe these accidents were just trial by ordeal…but…i feel happy…because i still have solicitude from my family and friends …but i really hope that…they won’t get any hurt from the ‘unfortunate luck’ that i have now…it’s just a very simple wish that i have deep down in my heart….hope that they’re happy always and things get better for them…and my BRO~!haiz…hope that he’ll cope with his stress…i believe that he’ll do well in SPM…mum’s been worrying about you dude…so, be cool k? best wishes for you…

welcome to hell place…muahahaha…..ai….

At last, i had to come back to KL…college is reopening 1 week later and i had to come back so early just to register….

today, it’s been a sad day for me….sometimes…i just feel like want to end up my life just like that…My parents don’t believe on my friends i know…

Though i know that i’m such a weak person i always being take advantages by others….Yet, i really willingly to help my friends eventhought some of their purpose were just to take advntages from me…well…i’m not a good friend…i have a weird behaviour and i know that people can’t cope with me somtimes…that’s why i’ve been trying to be as nice as possible to my friends in order to make them happy and not sad or angry….

Though, nowadays friends sometimes have their motives when they come close to you..and adults have been advising their children to avoid from being fool by their friends….Yet, to me, i rather fool by others so that i can know their true face and not just avoiding being fooled….if everyday you have to be on alert, would you be happy? For me, my answer is no….because i’ve been suffer for that and happiness seem to be something that has been running away from me…sometimes i even pretend to be happy so that i won’t influence other to be in bad mood…but, the problem is…why can’t i be happy?? why should i always stay alert on my friends ?? i mean they are friends, if i always guard against them, why should i make friends??  oh my god…..

i really hope there’s a god in hell to guide me to heaven….

Today, it’s quite like a normal day for me …I’d plan lotsa things to do so that i can keep myself busy and don’t have to think about those sad things that had happened last few weeks… I have a very good mood since morning coz i met my ‘lou po’ and get to chat with her…then i lead to other destination to learn to make bag for my beloved friend because her birthday is coming soon..then i have a date with my mum in the afternoon –swimming~

When i was so excited! wow~~ long time din go swimming dy!!!~

Suddenly….. "BANG!!!"   OH MY GOD!!!! i hit the car in front of me!!!! damn it……

Before i noticed what had happened, the van which caused me to bang the car in front of me just went away from the scene!!~~ and and and the driver still can laugh and see what happen to me and the victim!!!what on the earth is goin on here??!!

I have to say that i’m lucky because i hit a polite man’s car…because he never yell at me and being piss off…wow…he’s kinda nice guy…thanks to him and sorry to him…. I din mean to hit your car!!~~

I’m lucky again because my parents didn’t scold me at all…what they did were just advised me….man…i feel guilty about this…i shouldn’t drive so carelessly…ai…i’m so lucky to have them as my parents…i hope that all these would not give them a lot of problem…i like to apology to them……SORRY!!! I WON’T DO IT AGAIN!!! I PROMISE NEXT TIME I’LL BE MORE CAREFUL!!!~

After four months really learn deep into the interior design field, I’ve learnt that study in this field really lack of social life which is very important for a libra zodiac like me.. Since the start of this semester, I found that my social life is just around my class and my hostel. In a class that is difficult for me to communicate because I’m not a good talker , I’m not good in English speaking. The problem occurs when I’m facing with my classmates which one of them is Maldivian, Indian and a Chinese Banana. Most of the time I not really can define myself and talk out loud with English. It’s not that I do not want to talk with them, but sometimes I face trouble on describing things…Sometimes I wonder, why I couldn’t speak as confident as others as my English writing is a pass in SPM…haha…what an idiot am I…Then my hostel…I can c me and my roommate who is in Interior design too were the two people who burnt the midnight oil often…because of this, I rarely talk to my housemates too…I thought I was too lazy to talk and the works I have is just an excuse…and because of this…I’m not really very close with them..i think…NOW, I even fight with one of them because of something’s small…what the hell…Am I destroying my life by my own hands?

            Sometimes when I went back to my hometown…I feel lost….As if I don’t know Kuantan anymore… my friends there who I seldom contact…the beach that I seldom go now…even my best friend I too seldom contact….maybe I was too busy…maybe I don’t have money…maybe I’m just finding excuses to cover all my negligence…sigh…Will all these conditions continues? I do not know…And now I’m crying for nothing and just feeling lonely like everything’s gone just like the bubbles disappear in the air….now only I realize I’ve been working non stop for four months without friends companion…now only I realize…I have no more friends…no more friends beside me to advise me, shout at me, joke with me, fight with me, listen to me, spend time with me, shop with me, play music with me, or even get angry with me….

I want my friends back, talk like last time, joke and laugh as loud as we can, crazy about music performance….or even just have a cup of tea and sit and talk for the whole night…OH~~~!!!i really miss those nights…those days ….yet…can I have that back even I’ve chose Interior design course which is a killer for social life? Can I?…….

well..not that harsh i think…

unconciously i have went back to kl for two weeks dy…

just the 1st day school reopen after term break, lots of homeworks are already waiting 4 us …!!!yikess…!!

holiday already never relax and jx kept doin work …now the homework seems doubled n my work keep being reject…oh my.. such a poor thing i am…

principle of design , drawing studies , computer studies , english summore…

never sleep well..

never sleep early and have 2 get up early in the morning..

never have enough sleep…

my brain dy functioned until it’s goin 2 jam!!~CAN’T THINK of anything!!!already not enough creativity n now cannot think summore!!…arr!!!  _ _|||

WHO CAN HELP ME!!!…OH MY LORD , MY GOD….~~

WHEN CAN I REALLY HAVE A NICE SWEET DREAM??!!!  ><""AIKSS…

I WANT TO HAVE MY HOLIDAY BACK!! wuwuwu….. @.@  sobsob…

Wow~! what a great 18^th birthday I have!!!

For the 1^st time I celebrate my birthday with my friends right on 12am!!!

For the 1^st time I receive a bouquet of flower on my birthday!!!

For the 1^st time I have so much greet on my birthday~

For the 1^st time I’m not in my hometown on my birthday…

For the 1^st time my mum n dad sms me 2 greet me on my birthday~

For the 1^st time my family’s is not on my side on my birthday…

For the 1^st time I could feel tat I’m still visible in this world…n I’m not lonely anymore……

For the 1^st time I…..

Too much 1^st time on my 18^th birthday….

Too touching ….

Really appreciate all these 1^st times ….

I’d like 2 thank my family n my friends….

Thanks YOU!!!!

Finally i get 2 online!!

it’s been 1 weeks and a half i din online dy…miss my computer…

Today is my 4th day in my new school–INTEC…well..how 2 describe it…i heard my roommates said tat there a lot of ghost appearing in this coll..WOW!!~shock man~!wonder will i met 1…haha^^

By the way,staying in hostel actually is not that bad laa…i’ve very nice n friendly housemates here…they always so active n chit-chatting..i dunno wat other ppl will think of them,but i like this environment~always so warm n never keep stranger like me outside..hehe…actually i felt sorry for them…coz i’m a really bored person..hope they won’t mind…

as i aspect,everyone here always speaks english..oh my god…communication is dy a hard thing 2 do man~somemore has 2 speak in english…everytime i open my mouth,i always have 2 think a lot 1st…haha..this causing me so slow in response..haha….

well..1 thing i never aspected is that i make some friends tat dy kinda close now~this is really wow 4 me…wish our friendship will last forever…